Day 3. BIG AUSTRALIAN TREK – HEADING NORTH.

day 3 picture

This was my 9:00 AM picture for day 3. Note the circus tent tops off in the distance and in the pictures down below you can see our lovely cow yards which are stocked each night and then trucks show up in the morning and the cows go for their last ride. I told Derek this was a rather macabre image to have foisted on people wanting to camp and enjoy Australia. “here look, a kangaroo and a beautiful bird! Oh yes, cows, we are going to slaughter them. Cool huh?” In Canada, we hide that stuff. We just point at the mooseys and the bears and smile and there are no cows on death row to wreck the mood. I asked Derek about all of this over breakfast and he just had one words as his answer to all my angst.

“Golf.”

the moo factory

So our day was quiet. We were stationary as you can see. I stayed, Derek golfed. He was up at “sparrow fart” (Australia-ism, don’t ask) and all dressed in his ironed golf shorts. Soon he was swinging clubs outside the door of the caravan, getting limbered up for the big day. Then he had to wait 4 hours until his tee off time.

He was a little off for the morning being as he bumped his head about 8 times between last night and this morning. I offered to lick his head for him, but he declined. I pointed out how we would probably need to go back to real holistic, organic type of health care as we would be living off the land. I took the freshly baked cookies out of the oven while he answered me. He rolled his eyes. I am not completely sure what he meant but I will ask him later. I mentioned how animals lick each other and that now that I was healed from my “minor flu-like symptoms” my saliva was like liquid gold. I was immune. I had antibodies or something and I could heal his head. A kiss is just a kiss, your life giving abilities are hampered by pursed lips. Licking … just releases all the magic. He said his head did not hurt that bad anymore.

So, just as he was about to leave, guess what? Seriously, you have to try and guess. The hall monitor showed up!! He pulled in and parked his caravan across and down from ours. Out came the birds, his satellite dish, his carpet, his chairs, a table, a whole outdoor room. He had a new matching outfit and immediately set about talking to all those around him who were outside. Later, he actually grabbed a chair in one hand, a beer in the other and walked between the caravans, looking for a friend. I locked my door and pulled the shades.

At one point he got in his truck and did a U-turn and almost hit our caravan and I tried to run after him to tell him how close he came but he left me in the dust.  Evidently we are much kinder than he is.  I asked Derek, “did he recognize you from the other night?”  Derek said, “no.”  I told him he was going to have to work on being more memorable.  I promised I would help him.

I spent the day writing until about 4 when a caravan pulled in and parked so close to our caravan they could not even put up their awning because it would have covered us. The dude got out, ripped off his shirt, opened the van and went inside to get some food. The dudette was on the phone and started talking loudly, walking all around our caravans, sharing every word. I do not think they knew I was in my caravan, as he let a couple of farts rip. When Derek got back about an hour later, she was still on the phone. Her daughter is getting a new house and she is not at all happy with how the whole sale is going.  Also, Mary and her family got hit hard by the floods because they did not get that dam built in time.  Such a shame.  I did not want to know these things, she was standing less than a foot away from my open window and yelling into her phone.  It was impossible not to hear unless I wanted to go down to the circus and sit through one of the shows there.

The caretaker showed up to take our money and next door announced they were not unhitching their truck, which meant they actually were taking up two spots. Derek and I took a deep breath and went out for dinner.

Everyone recommended the Chinese restaurant in town. Why do we ever try Chinese Restaurants in small towns anymore? Why do we ever listen to people in small towns who recommend food? Damn, I miss Calgary Ginger Beef and real egg rolls. I miss Szechuan Prawns and good Chow Mein. I miss Peter’s Hamburgers … oh wait , caravanning, we are talking caravanning. We didn’t get any of that. I got sick though. Not flu-like minor symptoms … food poisoning-like vomit symptoms.

We got back to the show grounds and dodged the circus traffic to make it back to our caravan. Derek went for a shower. It was dark. A knock came on the door. Next door wanted us to know he had closed our windows because they were barbequing and they did not want to smoke us out. I bit hard on my tongue and smiled and nodded. I am trying to be a better person. I did not say, “well, if you had maybe parked in any of the other hmm … how many are there? . . . some 50 available spots that would not have butted you up against anyone else’s caravan … using your barbeque would not have interfered with anyone. OR, you might have walked 5 steps to the other end of where you parked and set your barbeque up there, where again, the smoke would not have been an issue BUT, by all means, go ahead and make yourself comfortable – that is all that matters right?

I have been very honest with everyone, I need this holiday. My patience with people is zero and the only thing keeping me from harming others is the fact Derek locks me in this caravan when he goes.

Oh look, here are some pictures of Derek and Fluffy.  Awesome huh? Tomorrow we move on.

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